Quelques petits machins en vrac...

Yoru, j'aime beaucoup le rythme des transitions, le "et puis"..."et enfin"...etc. ^^ Et j'aime surtout les quatre trucs du milieu, le dernier moins je trouve...

Et Arthisa si, c'est de la triche, mais comme t'as une bonne excuse, je te laisse ^^

Citation :

Pleurer tout son saoul jusqu’à vider la mer
Puis se rabattre sur l’encre et sur son goût amer
Enfin goûter au sang et à ce froid de fer
Finir par se figer en un silence de verre.

J'adoooore! Ca me rappelle les paroles d'une chanson de Noir Désir - Aux sombres héros de l'amer. (look up the lyrics! they're good!)

Surtout, j'aime "goûter (...) à ce froid de fer" !


Sinon, j'aime aussi beaucoup le deuxième poème, avec la répétition de style "avec...sans..."

hum.. seems that I have missed some stuff.
bon j'ai lu les 2 dernieres pages XD
Arthisa wrote:
C'est just pour augmenter tes chances (et les chances de piro) de les voir. (Même si avec piro ça marche pas trop.)

hehe^^''

sinon un commentaire :

Yoru a écrit:

Au fond, tu ne sais faire que ça…
Aligner des lettres, reformer des mots
pour leur sens, sans leur sens…
Jouer les échos, faire tinter les sons
dans un but, sans un but…
Ne cesser d’errer, tourner en rond
rechercher, rien chercher…
Et finalement, tout cela pour
ne rien dire, rien écrire…

un dm de maths traumatise autant ?

sorry chuis nul en poesie, je compte pas y essayer non plus ><

par contre le site write or die est genial XD
most evil thing is the pink background XD violin playing is quite bearable imho ^^ and I've already heard the "banana phone" music :p ben sings the start of it XD
kamikazee mode is evil too :p
mais on peut tricher en tapant une lettre puis l'effacer non? hum

j'ai bien aime les 4 vers "pleurer tout son saoul",
mais je viens de remarquer que j'ai fait un contre sens, j'ai compri saoul=soul, ame quoi.

ah mais 'liv a lu toute les pages. euh. bon. je le ferai. ^^
*sneaks away* *has chores to do*

Eh ben moi je peux tricher plus! ^^ je peux écrire des milliers de mots en quelques minutes et avoir le code html qui le proclame, il suffit d'écrire :
"a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a"
Pendant des millers de fois ce qui n'est pas si long (même si c'est ennuyeux). ^^

Et oui, en fait on peut toujours éviter la punition mais ça évite de completely 发呆 au lieu d'écrire, non ?

Et je ne veux même pas savoir ce qui t'as fait penser à un dm de maths là dedans...

*biiiig sigh* Et franchement, le contresens est... est... 'sc' goutt godawful omg how-could-you... désastreux.

^^

Bon sinon je suppose que je devrais honorer le nom du sujet et donner quelque chose? Hmmm...

Twitchy things
All around
Cute and fluffy and all round
Warm and fuzzy on the ground

Let's go see
Pet the balls
But be careful all along
For many a traveller got

Eaten by those trickster's teeth!



Okay not my best try. Everyone knows about them, right? Treacherous creatures that try to trick people into believing they're inoffensive. They don't exist on Earth, but you know...

aaaaw so cute! my favorite pet! ^^

piro scaaaary... dm de maths.... T_T ...

cute indeed ^^
il y a un nom pour les poemes qui finissent par une phrase/chute a la fin? j'ai l'impression que c'est plus utilise en anglais qu'en francais~

j'ai pas compris, completer quel 发呆 ?

Je crois qu'il voulais dire "completely" 发呆..

Poèmes avec un chute? J'sais pas...

Eh...

Bon, je vais poster un petit quelque chose en exclusivité Spirit's, pour la première fois depuis... super longtemps.

Count the days
'til forever
Count the days
Always

In a daze
Life is a maze
"Just a phase"
He prays

Sun rays
Sundaes
Dreams of days
Not so gray

Other ways
But which one lays
That will lead away
From the maze?

J'ai édité, j'ai édité euh! beuh! C'était bien completely et maintenant c'EST bien completely que j'ai écrit! ^^

Sinon je suis impressed que piro lise les petits machins en vracs maintenant! wow! ^^

I like Sundaes! (it's like ice cream right ? ^^)

Yep, sundaes are a kind of ice cream, and I loooove them!
XD

macdonalds chocolate sundaes are nice ! but i prefer macflurries XD

But~ sundaes don't have to be from McDonalds... McFlurries have to... ^^

Sundeas are tasteless!
unless of course you add things like cookies, brownies etc... (cf dairy queen + macflurry)

alerte> on dérive vers le hors sujet!

bah ce n'est plus trop important je crois...

I have been following these trails for as long as I can remember. Now, as the last one disappears under my eyes, as the last thread of normality is cut, as the last anchor to sanity slips through my numb fingers, I am lost. All I can do is wander aimlessly on this forgotten path that I have foolishly trod upon.

I walk, walk, walk. Never stopping - never looking back - that's what you wanted, isn't it? And I walk, because I'm afraid of what I've left behind. But the truth nags my mind, nibbles on my thoughts, devours me from the inside. I am not going anywhere. It's like I'm walking in circles, or worse, not moving at all. I am frozen in place by - what? My past, my future, my present? You, him, me?

One day, snow will fall again. It will cover the last tracks, erase my footprints, and yours, and his, and maybe I will be able to walk straight again, without being trapped by the messy remains of our useless struggles.

Randomness~
A present for you guys~ I miss you all so much!

Haven't written anything for such a loooong time ...

And no one has posted anything for quite a long time too ^^
Well, one's in usinage, one's having his military training, one might have no more access to the forum (who knows, with their weird censure...), and two are busy preparing their exams.

Uh... not so busy, it seems ^^

Two quick things I started in English class...

I'm sure i made loads of mistakes, but, well, you all know that my english is so very much poor, so you'll forgive me, won't you? ^^

So mean, so mean
To have smiled to me
To have talked to me
To have taken my hand
with soft words spoken in a
soft voice
Filling my head with pictures
and with songs my voice
and with tears my eyes
and with feelings
my
heart (?)

So mean, so mean,
To have brought me to the path
To have walked with me on it
(my hand in yours
And this smile, oh, this smile...)
To have shown me the night
and given me the name of the flowers
Pain
Sorrow
Hate...
And I found them beautiful
So beautiful that I picked them...


So mean, So mean,
To have vanished suddenly
To have taken the stars with you
To have left me in the dark
In a darkness so deep
that it is almost white
And in waters so deep
that I can't even drown or
realise that I have...
And you left nothing,
not
a
single
word

[And your smile... oh your smile...
Should I have guessed?
...]


Also, I'd need some advice...

Like, do you prefer

In waters so deep
That I can't even drown nor
realise if I already have

to the version in the text?

Also, the title was Lannan Shee at fisrt, but, then... It seemed a bit strange to me...
The poem is about inspiration, but, although Lannan Shees do represent inspiration, the image still doesn't seem to fit...

Oh, well, this is just some piece of garbage anyway, it is certainly not worth the trouble...

Second:

Tell Icarus
He didn't need the sun
To burn

Tell Lucifer
He doesn't need his god
To fall...

Actually, that's just some sort of beginning, though i know not to what...
I hesitated between the present (he doesn't need) and the preterit, dont know which is better...

Ah well, just another piece of garbage anyways, so...

that's it for today ^^ i actually wonder if anyone will see it ^^

It has been a long time... I was wondering if anyone was ever going to post on there again...

This is really good! Wonder where the inspiration came from... But there's a few things I'm wondering about:
Why the question mark after heart?
And did you mean "drown" instead of "drawn"?

As for your question, I'd personally write:
In waters so deep
That I can't drown, or even
know whether(/if) I already have

Um, about the title, I researched (briefly) the Lannan Shee (Sidhe) and though it does make sense if you read the poem that way, I think the description just doesn't fit. Artists who see the Lannan Shee are supposed to be captivated, she's supposed to be darkly beautiful, but not the kind to show "Pain", "Sorrow" or "Hate" (she never means to do harm). Huh...

Anyway, the second poem sounds like a fun idea. I like the preterit better, personally...

How do you expect echo to gain self-confidence about her works if you can't nag her about it because you didn't give the right example? I mean, saying this is garbage? I DISAGREE!!! hmfff.

Anyway, I personally prefer it like you wrote in the text... With "drown" written right... And echo's commenting that "mean" sounds a bit childish... Which is not exactly wrong I guess...

True true ^^ (i mean, 'bout the childish thing ^^ cause it's still garbage hehe)

Well, Lannan Shees kill you at the end, so...

the question mark, well, you can read something like "do i still have one?", something like that ^^

Hmm, that question mark looks kinda out of place to me...

-----
I'm sick of those misguided assumptions
And stifling presumptions,
Trying to model us into functions,
Expecting such and such reactions
Equating motions and emotions --
Artificial multiplications
Of expectations,
And less and less questions.

When excess of passion and compassion
Become factors of tension,
Increasing pressure leads to explosion
Of an infinite chain reaction.

...
Well, screw that!
Do what you will, it's spontaneity!

(In just a few months, I'll be free!)

.... Riiight....

Umm well I was at an expo ("savante banlieue") last thursday and friday with the 6emes and then the 3emes and there was one stand that was about poetry...

They had an activity where they gave a paper with sayings you had to complete... I'm copying down here:




So what can you put in there? I'll put up my answers after I get at least one completed reply. ^^

=P




Kinda repetitive... >< I'm in a rush.

I didn't like like at all what I did for 'Une femme pardonne tout ...'.
I didn't really like what I had for 'On peut aimer sans souffirir....' nor what I put for the last one.
And I put 2 words for 'On peut bien être ridicule...' where there should only be one, but well...
I was kinda rushed (had to keep an eye on the young ones and didn't find this stand 'fore Friday so didn't work on it between thursday and Friday) soo... I'm still unhappy with what I did for those four sentences.

Actually I was looking for something like what 'thisa put for 'Une femme pardonne tout..' but didn't find it... And I liked the last part of hers too, but the rest I like mine better I think. Although 'Dans un coeur troublé..' is different enough that I can't say which is really better.

To all the others, give it a try! I want to see what you make of it!

gomenasai, mais la phrase disait l'amour vit d'_______ et meurt de_____ et j'ai pas pu m'empecher de mettre d'ennui, je sais que ca brise la règle, pardonnez-moi, mais c'était trop tentant ^^

Si vraiment ça ne passe pas, alors je dirai,

L'amour vit d'ivresse et meurt de peur.


Voilà ^^

Je vais attendre que d'autres répondent peut-être avant de donner tout ce qui m'était passé en tête ^^

fun qu'on ait dit la même chose thisa chan! (je l'ai fait avant de lire vos trucs)

C'est pas grave j'ai modifié certaines choses aussi ^^
Juste... "ennuie" ?! "metter" ? J'ai corrigé quelques fautes... (en fait juste ces deux là et une autre que je trouve plus - j'aurais pas dû corriger avant de poster...)

Sinon j'aime beaucoup, il y a vraiment un contraste à certains endroits ('La vie est une rose...' en particulier) avec ce qui a été fait avant...

A few things that came to me as I was reading Yoru's again.

Sky

There's a dream that lies in the ground
There's a heart that cries all day long
A song that dies without a sound
And secrets soaring in the skies

When you see the moon shining red
When you hear the crows overhead
You shouldn't be afraid
This is the beauty of the night


Like a cloud,
Life is like a cloud
If your heart can learn to play
The winds will blow away
The weakness of the day
But souls will fly forever
Nothing's black and white
When you look down and pray
You'll miss the shades of gray
So open your eyes today


Knowing they’re too far but still you’re
Reaching for the stars above you
The light that will break through
Waiting for the truth to shine

Your faith like the sun gone in flames
But in the end there’s no one to blame
There is no joy without pain
And darkness always comes with light


Like a cloud,
Life is like a cloud
If your heart can learn to play
The winds will blow away
The weakness of the day
But souls will fly forever
Nothing's black and white
When you look down and pray
You'll miss the shades of gray
So open your eyes today
So look at the sky, today.


Nya~ That's an old set of lyrics I wrote for a friend of mine. I don't like them that much because they're cliché.... Oh, and this is what she did with them:

http://h1.badwaresite.www/Arthisa/Sky.WAV


Oh, and she's asked me to write other lyrics, but in Chinese, and I need help!!! So, take a look at this?

曾爱我的你
早已离开了这里
是否也舍弃了那充满悲伤的记忆
我伤害了你也伤害了自己

赎不完的罪
逃不掉的悔
似乎将我埋没在了过去的眼泪
找了一辈子却找不到我是谁

渐渐离去的自我意识
伴随着你在雾中消失
我站在迷惑中盼望着噩梦的结局